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about

Feelings is a 1980s style pop song shaped by Gerald King’s formative musical memories (especially Depeche Mode, the Stranglers, and Iggy Pop). The words powerfully express Gerald’s feelings about being diagnosed with young onset dementia in his fifties. The track begins and ends with fragments of a song called The Evil in You by Gerald's band Hotline to Moscow, recorded in Edinburgh around 1985.

lyrics

When the grey mist descends
It’s not easy to comprehend
My head’s in a vice like grip
Slowly squeezing, applying pressure
Numbing my senses and feelings
Makes me want to close my eyes
And blank out the world around me

The only ones who truly understand
Are those who dance to the same tune
Can you feel all my frustrations inside
As I hold back the flood of emotions
And look to find peace and salvation
From these demons that hold me down

Breaking up my thoughts into a thousand
Mixed up pieces, just like a jigsaw puzzle
That has lost the cover to its box which explains
Why I can no longer see the whole picture
Left in silence as language slowly leaves me
And our moments in space and time slowly slip away

If I break down will you comfort me
Help me to remember things differently
To live for those moments and memories
That I can no longer put into words
Help me to embrace these feelings
As this disease erases all my emotions
That makes us feel so human

credits

from The Demented Poets EP, released September 17, 2021
Words by Gerald King
Music by Andrew Eaton-Lewis (www.allofthedays.co.uk).
Produced by Hamish Brown (www.hamishbrownmusic.com)
Includes a short excerpt from The Evil in You by Hotline to Moscow, reproduced with permission from Gerald King.

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Deepness Dementia Media Scotland, UK

Deepness Dementia Media is a platform that gives people tools for living well with dementia, designed collaboratively with those with dementia leading the process.

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